Swedish pronunciation: lesson 1

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Sövd                suuuv’d

Think of the word ‘love’ as pronounced in a soppy movie-scene. Replace the ‘l’ at the start with an ‘s’. When you get to the end of the word, cut it short with a sharp ‘d’, as if interrupted by a mask being stretched over your face to put you to sleep [Engl.] through inhalational anesthetic.

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Ont                  on-t

Pronounce the first two letters like you would ‘on’, but with more force, imagining you are sitting on top of an opponent in a rigged fist-fight, watching them squirm in pain [Engl.]. Put your tongue against your top teeth for ‘t’, the sound shooting out likea loogie.

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Skam              scam

This one is easy. Pronounce it like you would ‘scam’, but let the ‘a’ sit higher in the top of your mouth. When you do, make sure your bottom jaw drops like it might from shame [Engl.] if you didn’t read the fine print on the contract you signed with the rip-off organ merchant, which states that in return for the kidney you must donate your womb.

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Ensam            en-sum

Start saying the word ‘enjoy’, but stop yourself after ‘en’. Instead of puckering your lips for a‘j’, as if you’re about to kiss
your child,
put your tongue behind your bottom teeth. Now hiss, like a lonely [Engl.] molly scaring off atom. Pronounce the ‘am’ like the ‘um’ in ‘bun’, ‘bump’. ‘Mum’.

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Valium           var-lee-uhm

Also easy as you are familiar with the trademark.
By familiar I mean having
heard of it.
Not having taken it for the past thirty years to alleviate mutilation.
Pronounce it as you would in English, but with a posh voice, dragging out the ‘a’ like you might someone’s ovaries.